Picking Up the Pieces

Trying again with the blog thing.  My last one was a bit too dark and doesn't really reflect me, as I am. (opens in a new window, if you're interested.)

My name, for the sake of internetz-world, and any number of people or robots that might come across the words flying across it, is Portia Confidential.  :-D  Safety is important to my Mom.

Who is Portia?  She is the goddess of Justice.  She carries the scales in her hands.  I personally identify with this symbolism very much so, because by birth I am a double libra, and I feel that I am trying to play in a world with an uneven field.  I'd like to make that field more even, if I can.  Uh, in the past my depression has caused me to lash out unfairly to the people I love the most.  I apologize, from the bottom of my heart, where I am continuing to work on that part of me that might have pushed any number of you away from me.  I am consciously attempting to become better, and not treat you unfairly, because you all deserve love.  Here is a cool nifty link to Portia here...(also opens in a new window....if you actually read this page, I'd Love to hear your thoughts.)


After talking with lots of people(including friends, families, strangers, therapists, and coach-like people) I have finally gotten to a point, where I recognize the depression I was in, and how long and steeped a depression it actually was(is).


But Today, Ladies and Gentlemen, I have recently come across a wide array of self-epiphanies, which today has turned into positive goal-making, for it seems, the first time in my life.  Whoa.  Portia's puttin on her big Girl pants now.  {watch out, that woman-skirt might be next! ;) }

Goals for the next 30 Days:

• Practice Qigong "Lifting the Sky" for 15 minutes, in the morning, and at night
• Finish a Dear Friend's "powerbook" I am making in the hopes that she can feel some empowerment over the disease she has been plagued with
• Send another Friend a Google Chromebook, to help her with school (Thanks, Vampire Killr)
• Fix Johnny Cash-my car-Radiator and Tires
• Sign up for Ink Lessons to prepare for a graphic novel I want to write and illustrate (with a woman who has actually worked for marvel and dc comics before!)
• Make some $$
• Paint a picture for Salon Utopia in Merrillville, IN
• Do not fight with my boyfriend, do not get angry with myself or him
• Get in touch with the people who asked me to help paint a mural
• Finish my Art website, so I can sell/display my art online
• Draw at least 2 times a week
• Figure out costs/materials for renting a booth at the local farmers market for Caricatures
• Continue Volunteering/Continue going to Dojo (Kung fu perhaps?)

Goals for the next 3 Months:

• Quit Smoking.
• Develop enough paintings for an art show
• Start illustrating/writing Graphic Novel
• Make a Dragon Eye sign for the local Hostel we stayed at upon moving to Florida
• Attend cousins wedding on September 2nd in NWI
• Get a Bicycle
• Figure out what debts I need to pay to increase my credit score
• Plan for paying back my student loans
• Research and set up LFNU(Love Found Nation University) proposal and website-the "university" I want to set up that is free for everyone, and any age can attend (Big, Long-Time Dream)

Goals for the next 3 Years:

• Move to Seattle, Washington, enroll in the University of Washington, and start pursuing a degree in Social Work
• More Art and Art Shows

So, that is my list so far.  Thoughts, comments, shout-outs, hey-yahs, and words or love and encouragement accepted graciously :)  (or ideas for paintings, yadda yadda yadda.)

With Love,
Portia